id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
