Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
