Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
