Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
