I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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