Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
