My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
