I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize