Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
