How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
