franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i came on her dog
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
