If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
