Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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