Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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