Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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