she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
