i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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