Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
