just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Pooping to opera.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
