This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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