He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
