youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
