This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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