Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
