Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
