he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
