at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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