ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
