Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
