I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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