Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
My feet surprised me
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
