you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
