I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
