Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
