He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
