I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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