I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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