Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
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