Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
