He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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