Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
