My underwear smells like fireworks.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
