i think my tv is drunk
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
