I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
