Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
