Nicole vs. Life
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
