I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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