But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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