I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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