whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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