I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
