Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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