Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
