that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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