My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
wow bdsm is so cute
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