I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
