this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
